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Domestic Violence Abuse - Why Does She/He Stay in an Abusive Relationship? (preventabusiverelationships.com)


Through the next series of blogs, I will address the ever arching question-Why does he or she stay in an abusive relationship?


There are so many faucets that go into the multitude of reasons. I'm going to start with the hardest one, I think, that most people do not understand. The reason so many people stay in the relationship is because deep down he or she loves the abuser. Most people choose not to understand how this could be. How can you stay with someone who physically, mentally or emotionally abuses you? What is your problem?


If the answer could only be so simple. I was in (2) relationships where I not only stayed with the abuser, left the abuser, and returned to the abuser. You see, the honeymoon period in the abusive relationship is just that. A romantic, fulfilling time of love, peace and solitude. A time to reconnect to your partner and to see what the relationship was like in the beginning. Some stable, non abusive relationships take time to go on a second honeymoon or vacations to reconnect with each other. An abusive relationship is like a long line of reconnections or second honeymoons or vacations. During the honeymoon time, the abuser romances the victim. Unfortunately for the victim, this romanticized period does not last very long. It is cut short by the tension period and the abuse that comes shortly afterward. Slowly, the honeymoon period is shorter and shorter until it becomes non-existent in some relationships. But for the victim, there is always a time of remembering when he or she loved the abuser. This goes on sometimes it seems forever until the victim can lose their blinders or love for that person, practice self-love or preservation and finally leave. For some victims, they choose to stay and that is their choice not to be judged by others. For the victims that stay, it is important that they still have a strong base of supporters. Those who are non-judgmental of the abuser or victim but will keep an eye out for the victim just in case they are needed.


A singer, Larry Graham, says in one of his records "Love covers a multitude of sins." So be kind and understanding to the victims of abuse. The best way to do so is to read, research and read some more. The article above will be posted on multiple blogs on the subject of Why does he or she stay in an abusive relationship.

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