I'm about to explode

When battered women fight back stereotyping can kick in -- ScienceDaily

Volunteering at the prison through Kairos prison ministry has been a mind-boggling thing for me. You see the majority of women in prison have been through some type of abuse in their life. It could have been physical or sexual abuse from members of their family, physical or mental abuse from an intimate partner or rape and other types of abuse from persons known or unknown. And sometimes they just explode. Sometimes it is just the rage built up, the unfairness, the hurt and anger of their situation. Sometimes it is a way of getting out of a situation of violence that they cannot see another way out. Sometimes it is just animal instinct to fight back as hard as they can against their abuser. It is a pressure-cooker mentality that fights back.

In the legal system, it is always asked-why did she or he just not leave? Did you know that the most dangerous part of a dv/ipv relationship is when the abused decides to leave?

When leaving my ex-husband, I actually filed for divorce when he was on the road. I did so because I knew he could talk me into not getting the divorce and I knew if I stayed, I would be a mental wreck. You see I had already divorced him and remarried him once and was losing my mind. So I got the divorce. The house was mine, the cars I had paid for. When the divorce came through, I called him and told him (he was an over-the-road driver at the time). I stayed over a friends house for a couple of weeks so he could not track where I was at. I invited him a couple of times to come get his clothes and things from the house. He did not respond. One day, I decided to stay over my parents house and it was there that he took the battery out of my car and was walking down the street with it. I called after him to no avail. I was about to explode. It was Sunday morning, I was getting ready for church and he took the battery. The only difference between me and some of the women in prison is that I know not to carry a gun or any weapon. I know that my temper is explosive.

Believe it, the difference between an abuser and the victim is not the temper, it is not the explosiveness but it is the level of power and control games that the abuser likes to play. Hopefully the legal system will learn this dynamic soon as well as pastors counseling domestic violence cases.

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